Big Cowboy Page 4

  “Oh, no. You promised you’d never tell anyone,” I say.

  “Emily’s not just anyone, she’s family. You can tell her. You won’t tell a soul, right sis?”

  “I’ve got to hear this.” She leans a hip against a large fence post. “Go on. It’s only gonna get colder the longer you wait.”

  I narrow my gaze at Brendan. He laughs.

  “Fine. I was up on a roof in Dallas. New sub-division. It was hotter ‘n hell outside. Humidity had to be about two million percent.”

  “I didn’t know the scale went that high,” she teases.

  “Anyway, I’m dehydrated and half-croaked, but my boss…” I hook a thumb toward Brendan. “Is a real ball breaker. He wants the job done on time and doesn’t care if we drop dead.”

  “That’s not how it happened.”

  “It’s how I remember it.”

  “Maybe you really were delirious,” Brendan says.

  “So I’m using a nail driver on the roof. It’s almost done. This fucking swarm of bees comes out of nowhere—”

  “—it was one bee.”

  “—a whole fucking hive’s worth.” I glare at Brendan.

  “He screamed like a girl. Worse than you last night.”

  “Really?” Emily’s smiling even though she’s turning crimson.

  “A whole swarm.” I hold my arms open for emphasis.

  “You’re worse than Old Lady Gunther.” Brendan shakes his head. “There might have been two or three bees.”

  “A fucking swarm. So I do what any normal hot-blooded man would do in that situation, I squeeze the trigger on the nail gun and shoot my boot right through the toe.”

  “You weren’t wearing steel-toed shoes?” she asks.

  “Nope. Too stiff.” I grin, thinking about how stiff something else was last night.

  “That’s too bad.” The glint in her eye sparkles with mischief. “You should be careful about where you’re pointing your… tools.”

  “I should.”

  “You got lucky,” Brendan says. “You could have put a nail through your foot.”

  “But I didn’t. Should I tell her about the time you almost sawed your fingers off?”

  “What? It was just a little nick.”

  “His blood soaked clear through the towel before we got to the hospital,” I say. “I thought we’d have to call him ‘the claw’ for the rest of his life. You’re lucky they had a hand surgeon on call.”

  “You guys have quite the war stories,” she says.

  “I bet you do too.” The moment I say it, I wish I could shove the words right back into my mouth. She turns as white as the snow.

  “It’s getting cold, and the sun’s going down,” Brendan says. “Let’s head in.”

  Emily won’t meet my eyes as we walk back toward the barn. I fucked up. Even though her accident was over a year ago, it’s obviously still a sore subject. I shouldn’t have said anything. My dumb mouth was moving faster than my head, as usual.

  When we get back to the barn, Emily says a quick goodbye. I try to go after her, but Brendan calls me back.

  “Let her go,” he says.

  “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t realize—”

  “—you couldn’t have known. It’s fine. She won’t talk about the accident. I’ve tried asking her about it, but she shuts me down. I figure she’ll talk about it when she’s ready. Want a beer?”

  “Sure.”

  We end up on the main house’s front porch. An orange and gold sun sets over the distant mountains. Streaks of fire shoot across the hills as the sun drops below snowy peaks.

  “Dallas never had a view like this.” I take the offered beer from Brendan.

  “Not even close. I’m glad I moved.”

  “I’m glad you finally talked me into it.”

  “Honestly, I would have shit in my boots that first week if you hadn’t been here to back me up. That grizzly scared me half to death.”

  I almost spew beer everywhere.

  “The teeth on that thing…” I finally manage as I try to get my laughter under control.

  “I figured all I had to do was outrun you,” Brendan says.

  “Shit, we would have both been dead if you’d done it.”

  “Thank God you stopped me.”

  “Yep.”

  As a comfortable silence carries us into darkness, I can’t help but think of everything we’ve been through. Before I meet Brendan, I aimlessly wandered through life. I never put down roots anywhere because nowhere felt like home. But this ranch? This is home now. And I can’t fuck it up. I’ve got to talk to Emily.

  “I’m going to head in,” I say. “Thanks for the beer.”

  “Oh shit. I forgot the bug spray.”

  “Bug spray?”

  “Emily said she saw a big hairy brown spider last night in her bathroom. I’m surprised you didn’t hear her screaming bloody murder.”

  “Nope.” I shove my hands in my pockets. “Didn’t hear a thing.”

  “Can you take it to her? I’d do it, but I’ve got a little something I need to take care of down at Hardy’s.”

  “Is the little something a lucky lady?” I ask.

  “Maybe.”

  “Good for you.” I slap him on the back. “For a while there, I wasn’t sure if you’d sworn an oath of monkery or not.”

  “Monkery? That’s not even… That’s not a word. I don’t think it’s a thing either.”

  “Don’t monks swear off sex?”

  “Hell, I don’t know.” He goes inside and returns with the spray. “I’ll be back later tonight.”

  “Have fun.” I grin.

  As he heads toward his truck, I walk toward Emily’s cabin. I already hate that we’re about to have this conversation, but it needs to be had. We can’t keep flirting and doing… well, other things… behind his back. It’s not right. So I have to end whatever’s happening between us before it’s too late. It sucks, but it’s the right thing to do.

  I knock on her door.

  “Coming,” she calls.

  When the door opens, I’m treated to the sight of a dripping wet goddess in a white robe. What the hell was I here for again?

  “I have bug spray,” I say.

  “Come in.” She laughs as she pulls me into the cabin. “My brother sent it, right?”

  “He seems to think you were attacked by a hairy beast last night.” I set the spray on an end table.

  “I was.” She slides her hands around my neck. “And I wouldn’t mind getting attacked by one again tonight.”

  Temptation nips at my self-control. God, I want this woman, but I came here to end this budding relationship, not consummate it.

  “We need to talk.” I gently unclasp her hands and bring them to my chest. “You know we can’t go on like this.”

  “You’re right.” The corner of her mouth twitches. “We should be naked.”

  I groan.

  “I mean sneaking around behind your brother’s back.”

  “Didn’t he just leave? I heard his truck.”

  “He did.”

  “Then we’re not doing it behind his back. He’s not here.” Her impish smile returns to destroy all the reasons why I shouldn’t be touching her.

  “Emily…” Her name comes out in a low groan.

  “He doesn’t need to know.”

  “We can’t hide it forever.”

  “Who said anything about forever? I’m not looking for forever, are you?”

  This should be an easy question, but I hesitate. Before meeting her, I wouldn’t have given “forever” a second thought. Now, it leaves me wondering…

  “If you want to walk away, there’s the door,” she says. “But make up your mind because I’m dripping all over the floor.”

  “Go dry off. I’ll take care of the fire.”

  “I’ve found whiskey in the cupboard. Make us a drink.” As she sashays away, she lets the robe drop low enough to reveal the top curve of her ass. I’m a dead man. I can’t look aw
ay.

  Shit, this is not going the way I’d hoped.

  After searching through the kitchen, I manage to rustle up two whiskey glasses. I put a finger of whiskey each, then add a little extra to mine. I’m going to need it.

  “Stay strong,” I whisper.

  “What was that?”

  When she walks back into the kitchen, she’s wearing a sheer pink negligee that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. I gulp what’s left in my glass. Liquid fire burns in my belly, but it’s not from the booze.

  “You should get dressed.”

  “Is that what you really want?” She leans against the wall. Silky fabric falls open to expose her leg from ankle to hip.

  “I’m trying to be a good friend.”

  “Admirable.” She pushes off the wall and stalks toward me. As she leans past me to grab her drink, her breasts brush across my arm. I shiver.

  “You’re not making this easy.”

  “Am I making it hard?” Her gaze drops to my jeans where my cock is doing its damndest to bore a hole through my zipper.

  “Fuck.” I take the glass from her and set it on the counter. “Come here.”

  She drops the negligee off her shoulders. It pools at her feet. She kicks it aside. Naked, fierce, and brimming with desire, she rakes her nails across my chest. I gasp.

  “I knew you’d give in.”

  “Did you?” I slide my hands around her waist.

  “I did. Now, warm me up.”

  I groan. This isn’t what I was here to do, but I’m helpless to resist her. I lower my lips to hers and give her a soft kiss before deepening it. I’m drowning in this woman. She’s pulling me toward my doom like a mythical siren. I see disaster in our future, but she doesn’t, and I don’t know how to open her eyes.

  6

  Emily

  I close my eyes and melt into the heat rolling off Dallas. He’s too concerned about my brother’s feelings. I agree that we shouldn’t be sneaking around behind his back, but we shouldn’t have to. Who is he to dictate whether we should be together? This wouldn’t be the first time a girl’s hooked up with her brother’s best friend.

  Besides, that’s all this is—a hookup. I already know he’s not a long-term kind of guy. Brendan has drilled that into my head, and I know better than to expect anything more. Expectations put me in a world of hurt once before; I’m not about to fall into that trap again.

  He scoops me up and carries me toward the bedroom. Even though I know what’s going to happen, I’m nervous. I want my first time to be with Dallas, but should I tell him? Should I warn him that he’s about to take my virginity? Maybe he won’t notice. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything.

  I don’t know what to do as he lays me on the bed. He covers me with strong, supple muscle. Skin to skin, we wrap our arms around each other. The incessant press of his cock against my thigh ignites smoldering passion. I let him slip between my thighs. He’s still fully clothed, but I intend to take care of that.

  As I reach between us to unbutton his shirt, he tugs my bottom lip with his teeth.

  “You’re going to get me into so much trouble,” he murmurs.

  “He’ll never know. Bring it up again, and I’ll be forced to punish you.”

  “Oh, really.” He props up on his hands and stares me in the eyes. “How do you plan on doing that?”

  “Well…” I rush through all the kinky things I’ve only read about in books. “I’d start by getting some rope to tie you up.”

  “You’d better find a thick rope.”

  “Oh, I will.” I wrap my fingers around the bulge in his pants.

  “Then what are you going to do?” He leans back to sit on his feet while he removes his shirt.

  “Then…” I swallow. Shadows accentuate the ridges and valleys of his chest.

  “Then?” he prompts.

  “I tie you up and tickle torture you until you surrender.”

  “That’s not where I thought you were going with that.” He grins as he unbuckles his pants. “I thought you were going to find a riding crop and paddle my ass for being a bad boy.”

  My breath comes out in a whoosh. He lowers the zipper. I can’t take my eyes off of his cock as it springs free. He went commando today. On purpose? For me? Did he have this whole thing planned? Maybe he did. Maybe his protests were just thinly veiled excuses to give me an out if I didn’t want him naked in my bed.

  But I do want him.

  He is in my bed.

  He is naked.

  And I’m going to take full advantage of him. Tonight’s the night. I’m going to give him something I’ve held back for far too long. I don’t even know why I waited this long.

  He kneels between my thighs and covers me with silken kisses. His lips singe me with the promise of ecstasy. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.

  As I caress the knotted muscles in his back, he devours me with hungry kisses. The scent of my arousal fills the air. The ache between my thighs intensifies. I arch against him.

  “Do you have a condom?” he murmurs.

  “No, but I’m clean and I’m on the pill. You?”

  “I haven’t been with anyone since my last test.”

  “Good,” I whisper.

  He grips his cock and probes my slick folds. I spread wider.

  “You’re so tight.”

  I nod, unable to speak because I can’t catch my breath.

  “Hold on, baby,” he whispers.

  He drives hard, breaking through my barrier and filling me with every inch of his cock. Pain sears though me only to be replaced by absolute pleasure. He freezes.

  “Emily, what just happened?” His golden eyes flash with fear.

  “You’re my first.”

  “Holy shit.” He groans and pressed his face into my shoulder. “How’s that possible? You just said you’re on the pill.”

  “It’s supposed to help with cramps.”

  “Oh my God.” He eases back then thrusts his hips, filling me again. “Oh my God.”

  “Please,” I whisper.

  His breath is hot against my throat. I don’t know if he’s going to panic and run or keep moving inside me. I don’t think he knows what to do either. Maybe I should have told him, but I don’t regret it. I can’t regret it because he’s perfect. He’s what I’ve always wanted, and now he’s mine.

  “Make love to me,” I murmur against his ear.

  He strokes into me once, twice, then starts a relentless rhythm that breaks me wide open. I’m ready to give him all of me, not just my body, but my heart. It’s crazy, but maybe this is exactly what I needed. Someone to crash into me. Someone I can crash into.

  “I can’t believe this is happening,” he says.

  “Stop thinking.”

  He brushes soft kisses across my mouth before parting my lips with his tongue. I breathe him in. I want to memorize every moment, every scent, and texture and sound. Because this might never happen again.

  I need this. I need him. He’s exactly the kind of man that I want right now. No strings. Nothing to tie me down to this place. I love being here on the ranch, but I don’t know if I can stay. I’ll miss the thrill of racing two hundred miles an hour. But that’s exactly what this feels like, only there’s nothing controlled about his thrusts.

  He’s wild and rough, shifting harder and deeper as if trying to take total possession of me from the inside out. I give him everything I can. I have no idea what I’m doing, but he’s a master, teaching me the art of passion with every stroke.

  As he urges me closer, I dig my nails into the hard muscle of his ass. He plunges into me, dragging me relentlessly toward the pinnacle of pleasure.

  Tension coils until I’m ready to break. He seals his lips to mine. Tongues mingling. Breath caught in our throats. An undeniable ache begs to be sated.

  I explode.

  Wrapped around him, I tumble into rolling waves of absolute bliss. I moan his name. He groans and delves deeper. Faster. Harder.


  He joins me, clinging to me as he fills me with liquid fire. His thrusts don’t stop until he’s given me everything he has locked up inside his soul. With a final shudder, he lays with me locked around him. He leans back slightly and caresses my cheek with the backs of his fingers.

  I want him to say something, anything, because the shock and confusion in his eyes is too much to bear.

  “Why?” he whispers.

  “Because you see me. The real me.”

  His searching gaze lingers on my face. I don’t know what he’s looking for, but whatever it is, I hope he sees it.

  He sighs and rolls us onto our sides. He’s facing me as his gaze softens.

  “I wish you would have told me first,” he says softly.

  “Would you have done it if you’d known?”

  “I don’t know.” He shakes his head slowly. “I don’t regret it.”

  He kisses away my trepidation. I relax into him, grateful for his understanding. At least he doesn’t regret it. What more did I want? Love? No. That’s not something I can have. Not now. My whole life is in shambles. The last thing I need is to fall in love with this cowboy.

  “I’m not the stable type,” he says.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m not a white picket fence kind of guy. I don’t plan on getting married and popping out kids. I’m not your suburban fantasy.”

  I laugh.

  “What makes you think I want a suburban fantasy? I’m a ex race car driver living on a ranch. I want the city, or the country, but not an approximation of either. I don’t have expectations. I know better than to try to plan the future. I did that once, and when it blew up in my face, I lost more than a job. I lost…” I hesitate to finish.

  “What did you lose?”

  “Hope.”

  He traces the edge of my jaw with his thumb.

  “You need hope.” His tone is tender. “Without hope, there’s nothing to live for.”

  I swallow back the desire to tell him about my darkest days, when I thought I had nothing to live for. But then I’d think about my brother and about how I would be betraying him by giving up, and I stopped indulging in my escapist fantasies.

  Besides, there are better ways to escape than death. Making love to a near stranger is one. Although, he doesn’t feel like a stranger. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. He’s warm and caring and loving, without all the commitments that come with loving someone. And for now, he’s mine.