Big Cowboy Read online

  “I want to stay with you tonight,” he says.

  “Then stay.”

  “Tell me about the accident.”

  I sigh. I haven’t talked about that day with anyone. But he’s laid me bare in more ways than one, so why not tell him about the worst day of my life? I’m still riding the high of making love to him. This will drag me back to reality.

  “It was the qualifying race to the Daytona 500. I’d run the track so many times that I knew every curve. Racing was a bit like making love.”

  “Really?” He smiles and traces the curve of my hip.

  “Of course, I didn’t realize that until tonight.” I kiss him deeply. “Thank you.”

  “I’m glad you chose me.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m just…” He dips his head slightly. “It makes me feel like I’m worth something.”

  “Why would you think otherwise?”

  “I don’t know.” He looks away. “I’ve spent my whole life bouncing from job to job. The only real tie I have to anything is my friendship with your brother. And then you came along…”

  “And?”

  “And I don’t know. I’m not sure what this means.”

  “It doesn’t have to mean anything. Let’s just enjoy this for tonight and not worry about the future.”

  “Deal… but I still want to hear about the race.”

  “It was electric. The stadium was filled to capacity with screaming fans. There’s nothing like the energy of the crowd to get your engines racing. They were out in force that day.”

  “It’s like the Super Bowl of racecars, right?”

  “Yep. I was suited up, covered in patches from my sponsors. The scent of gasoline and sunscreen filled the air. I drove onto the track, surrounded by other cars. My heart was pounding the way it does right before the flag drops. And then it was on.” I pause, reliving the moment. “I didn’t think it would be easy. It never is, but I didn’t anticipate the impending disaster.”

  “What happened?” He pulls me closer, kissing my shoulder.

  “I’d made it through stage one. Coming out of the pit, I was fired up. I was hanging out around fifth place. I don’t like to lead. I like to maintain good position until the final ten laps. Spoilers, I never made it past stage two.”

  “What happened?”

  I swallow as memories come in slow motion.

  “The guy two cars in front of me cut across trying to get closer to the inside track. He clipped the back of another car. I saw the whole thing. It was like watching an 8 mm film. I couldn’t avoid the crash. I tried, but I hit the wall. Spun me until someone side-swiped me. They hit me just right and flipped me.” I shudder.

  “Hey,” he whispers. “It’s over.”

  “Yeah.” I rub my leg. “It still aches in the cold.”

  “Your leg?”

  “Broke it. And some ribs. My collar bones.” I give him a weak smile. “I was strapped in, but it didn’t matter.”

  “But you were alive.”

  “I was alive.”

  “How long did it take to recover?”

  “I’m still recovering in some ways. I mean, my bones are either screwed in or they’ve healed, but me… I’m still broken.”

  “What will it take to put you back together again?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, we should figure it out.” He gives me a soul-warming smile.

  I slide into his arms. He kisses the crown of my head before finding my forehead, then the tip of my nose, then my lips. I sink into his kiss, reveling in the way he accepts me, broken dreams and all. I could fall in love with a man like this.

  7

  Dallas

  I slip out before dawn. As much as I want to stay, I can’t. Brendan will be back, and I can’t let him catch me sneaking out of his sister’s cabin. This whole situation is a mess. I can’t believe she was a virgin. And she wanted… me? Of all the men in the world, why me? Not that I’m complaining. It’s more shocking than anything.

  I’m honored but also terrified. She says she doesn’t want anything else, but what if she does? I warned her. I don’t do roses and rings. I’m not a white wedding kind of guy. I’m a fuck-anything-that-walks guy, who, admittedly, is a bit out of practice, but I still think I rocked her world.

  As I step into my cabin, I grin. Yep. I rocked her world. And she did the same to mine. Maybe she really just wants some fun, sexy time with no strings. I can do that. If fact, it’s a relief to know that she doesn’t want a relationship. I’m with her on that. Relationships are messy, and I always seem to find a way to screw them up. So, I gave up on them, like I’ve given up on everything else.

  Except… She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Lying by her side last night listening to the story of her accident hurt my heart. To have the life you dreamed of and then to have it stripped away—no wonder she’s lost hope in any kind of future.

  I get it. I let a woman get close to me once. She took off with a man I’d considered a friend. I lost both of them, and it broke my heart. I don’t want to lose another friend. I don’t want to lose another woman either. So it’s best that I walk away from her while I can. Only… I don’t want to walk away. She’s broken, and I want to piece her back together. I just don’t know how to do it without having my heart shattered too.

  After a quick shower, I scarf a breakfast of biscuits and gravy before heading out to feed the cows. I get on the tractor and hook a bale of hay to the rear spooler. Thick snow blankets the pasture. They moo their excitement. I smile. There’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of instant job approval.

  As I lay the hay out in strips, they follow. With the last bale down, I park near the edge of the pasture. The cows raise their heads as they chew monotonously. I envy their easy life. They don’t have to worry about the past or the future. Their biggest worry is in making sure they eat enough hay, which is never a problem around here.

  Brendan rolls up in an ATV.

  “Nice morning,” he says.

  “Sure, if you don’t mind freezing your ass off.”

  “It’s a balmy ten degrees.”

  “Balmy my ass. How’d it go with your lady friend?” I ask.

  “We’ve got another date tomorrow night.” He grins.

  “Really?” I sit back. “How long has this been going on?”

  “A few weeks. I didn’t want to say anything because I wasn’t sure it was going anywhere. You know how that is.”

  “Oh, I know it all right.” If he only knew how close he was to the truth. “What’s the plan for today?”

  “The shop’s a mess. I’m doing a quick ride around to check on everything, then I’m planning on cleaning it up a bit. You?”

  “I’m working on the new wind break for the cows. The existing one needs repairs too. Another storm’s coming in tonight, so I’ve got to get both breaks ready.”

  “Then I won’t keep you. Have you seen Emily this morning?”

  “Not yet.” Actually, yes. Naked. Riding me like a wild stallion.

  “If you see her, tell her I need to talk with her about something.”

  “Anything wrong?” I ask.

  “No. I just need to talk to her.”

  After he leaves, the gnawing in my belly won’t let up. I’m sure whatever he needs to talk to her about isn’t related to me. He was gone all night last night, so he couldn’t possibly know I was buck-naked with his sister until dawn.

  I shake my head. This is exactly why we can’t keep doing this. I’m not a liar by nature, so this is way out of my comfort zone. However, this thing between me and Emily isn’t supposed to be a big deal, so maybe I’m making more of it than I need to. I don’t know. I think my brain’s still turned inside out from making love to her.

  I head back to the barn to change machines. I get a pickup full of lumber and drive it out to the wind break. Fortunately, I don’t have to hammer all the nails in. I brought the nail driver.

  Repairs to the exist
ing wind break are done by noon. I get into the cab of the truck and pull out the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I made this morning.

  As I eat, I try not to think about Emily, but I can’t help myself. Everything about her is perfection, even the scars from the accident. Tiny little rows of perfectly placed stitches did nothing to detract from her beauty. Nothing could. She’s gorgeous. She’s also sweet and kind. And damn, that woman is good in bed. I wouldn’t have believed it was her first time if I hadn’t felt her open for me.

  A shiver goes down my spine and heads straight for my cock.

  “Down, boy.”

  I already want her again. I don’t know what she thinks about what happened last night, but I aim to find out. Although we didn’t make any plans, I want to see her tonight. And tomorrow night. And the night after that… Man, I’m whipped already.

  After washing down lunch with a soda, I drive toward the location for the second wind break. I set posts in concrete last week but hadn’t gotten back to add the wood. The only problem I have with ranching is that I never can seem to get ahead of the project list. It’s always growing no matter how fast I work. I don’t like to rush jobs. I want it done right the first time, so things pile up. But this needs to be done today.

  A cloud passes in front of the sun. The light changes. I glance at the sky. Yep, the storm’s rolling in—and fast. I better haul ass.

  I work quickly to put in the cross beams and start laying out the horizontal slats. From here, I’m on autopilot. Everything’s going great until the battery on the nail gun dies. I check the truck. I forgot the damn backup.

  One quick look at the sky, and I know I don’t have time to head all the way back to the barn. I’m almost done, so it’s time for some good old-fashioned manual labor. I pound the first nail it. It’s like riding a bike.

  As I’m hammering away, flashes of her dewy skin and soft sighs distract me. I swing too hard and miss the nail, hammering the shit out of my thumb instead.

  “Sonofa—”

  I pull off my glove to inspect the damage. It’s already swelling.

  “Shit!”

  If I don’t get ice on it fast, I’m going to have a cucumber-sized thumb. I check the wind break. It’s almost totally finished, so I suck it up and pound in the last few slats.

  My parking job sucks, but I don’t have time to make it pretty. My thumb’s throbbing as I run toward my cabin.

  “Hey, sexy.” Emily’s sultry bedtime voice stops me in my tracks. She’s standing on the porch of her cabin dressed in a thick cream-colored sweater and jeans. “Where are you running off to?”

  “I knocked the shit out of my thumb.” I hold it up. It’s bright red and hurts like hell.

  “Oh no! I’ve got an ice pack in the freezer. Come over.”

  I glance toward my cabin. Fuck it. I could use some tender loving care.

  As I meet her on the porch, she looks over my shoulder. Her knitted brows unfurl.

  “Coast is clear,” she says. “Did you see Brendan today? He was practically walking on air over this new woman he’s dating.”

  “Yeah, I saw him. Ice in the freezer?” I don’t mean to be gruff, but my thumb is killing me.

  “I’ll get it.”

  She retrieves it and has me sit on the couch. She wraps the ice pack in a kitchen towel and wraps the whole thing around my hand. I adjust it so that it covers most of my thumb.

  “How’d that happen?”

  “I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “Want a beer?”

  “Sure.”

  As she heads toward the kitchen, I turn to watch her ass. Some women look good in jeans, but none of them ever look like this. She’s filling them out in all the right places. That sweater’s wicked too. Creamy and soft like her skin, I want to run my fingers all over it—and her.

  She hands me a beer and sits beside me, legs tucked under her butt. I take a quick swig and hope it will dull the pain.

  “I missed you this morning,” she says softly.

  Oh hell, here we go.

  “I told you I’d have to leave early.”

  “I know.” Her gaze drops to the floor, taking my heart with it. “I just liked being with you.”

  “Me too,” I admit. “But I need to know that you don’t expect anything else of me. I told you last night, I’ve got nothing to give you.”

  “I don’t agree, but what I told you is the truth. I’m not looking for a cookie-cutter future. Plans are pointless. I’m just trying to take life one day at a time. I wasn’t trying to trap you last night. I was just too afraid to tell you because I didn’t want to scare you away.” She grabs my good hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

  “So, it’s just sex? This… us?” I ask.

  “Just sex.”

  I should be relieved, but I’m disappointed. Maybe I knocked some sense out of myself when I hit my thumb, but I want her to demand more from me. No one’s ever expected much from me before, and maybe no one ever will, but it would sure be nice to be held to a higher standard. But as she just said, she’s got zero expectations right now. And maybe that’s for the best.

  “I can roll with that,” I say.

  “Really?” She smiles and slides into my lap. “Can you roll with it while you’ve got an ice pack on your thumb?”

  “If you’re on top, I can.”

  She grins and starts unbuttoning my shirt. Her warm hands smooth across my chest, pausing only to flick my nipples. I groan. She’s so damn sexy that I forget about my throbbing thumb and focus on the other part of me that’s throbbing. Screw foreplay, I want to be inside her—now!

  But she has other plans. She kisses and licks my chest. A soft, feminine purr vibrates against my heated flesh. My cock swells as she reaches for my zipper. She tugs it down. I shimmy out of my clothes, careful not to hit my thumb against anything. It’s thoroughly numb now, so I set the ice pack in a decorative bowl on the coffee table. I rest my hurt hand on the back of the couch. With the other, I caress the soft swell of her breast.

  “It’s not fair that I’m naked and you’re not.”

  “Slow down, cowboy. I have plans for you.”

  “I thought you didn’t do plans,” I tease.

  “Normally I don’t, but I have a plan for your cock.” She arches a brow.

  “This, I’ve got to hear.”

  “What if I show you instead?” She licks her bottom lip.

  “Carry on,” I say in a mock British accent. I don’t know why I’m suddenly channeling the Queen of England, but here we are.

  Before I can overthink my wandering thoughts, she slides onto her knees. She runs her hands across my thighs, testing and kneading the muscles as she goes. It’s part massage, part seduction, and I’m melting under her touch.

  I’ve never been with a woman who takes her time like this. Most women treat me like an object, a hot cowboy they can use as their personal vibrators. But Emily’s not like that at all. It’s not just mindless sex with her. It’s a sensual exploration. Maybe it’s because she was a virgin when we met, or maybe she’s just like this. She seems curious about everything, including every inch of my body. I’m more than happy to let her touch wherever, and whatever, she wants.

  By the time her lips touch the tip of my cock, I’m more than ready for her. She sucks me between her rosy lips. I moan and cup the side of her head. She’s gloriously devoid of a gag reflex. As she takes me deep, she locks eyes with me. Hers turn a deeper shade of blue. Desire always transforms her from cute pixie to ravishing elf queen.

  A shudder rips down my spine as she swirls her tongue against the base of my cock. I sink into the couch. She consumes me, alternating between deep strokes and feathery kisses. She bathes my cock with her little pink tongue. The image burns into my mind. Regardless of what happens between us, I’ll never forget seeing her like this.

  She lingers at the tip before drifting down to cover me once again. I try to hold back, but her mouth is pure sin.

  My hips arch sli
ghtly. I grip her hair, holding on for dear life as she rockets me closer to the edge.

  Spiraling heat coils tight enough to break, and when I do, I let out a guttural moan. Hot spurts of wild heat coat her tongue. She lavishes me with soft kisses, leaving nothing behind.

  I’m spent, unable to move, and happier than I’ve been in a long damn time.

  “Feeling better?” she asks.

  “God, yes.”

  “Good. Because next time I expect to come that hard.”

  “Next time?” The edge of my mouth quirks.

  “Yes. Next time.” Her eyes sparkle as she stands.

  As she heads into the kitchen with the ice pack, I twist to watch. She’s beautiful, sweet, and sexy as hell. I’m a dead man because I think I’m falling in love.

  8

  Emily

  It’s been several weeks since we started our secret love affair. Well, maybe not love. Lust for sure. But we’d agreed not to fall in love a long time ago. We have an understanding. But… I don’t know if I can keep up my end of our no-strings-attached agreement. I’m falling for him. Fast. Hard. Deep. Exactly the way he likes to make love to me.

  It’s not just the sex. We spend hours talking about everything from ranch work to esoteric questions about our place in the universe. Now I wonder—where’s my place in his universe? Can we become something more? Or are we destined to remain friends with very good benefits?

  I’m standing on my front porch staring longingly at Dallas’ cabin when my brother walks up. I didn’t hear him coming.

  “Morning,” he says.

  “Want some coffee? I just made a pot.” I hold up a steaming mug.

  “Sure.”

  “It’s inside on the counter.”

  When he returns, he stands beside me for several minutes without saying anything. It’s a comfortable silence. Dawn is just breaking over the mountains. Streaks of gold flicker across pristine, snow-blanketed hills. A flock of birds flies overhead.