Big Cowboy Page 7
“Nine,” I correct.
“Did you whip out a tape measure while I was sleeping?” He arches a brow.
I laugh and swat his butt.
“Oh, now you’re asking for it,” he says.
I squeal as I run. He catches me and swings me around.
“Somebody’s getting a spanking tonight.”
“Promises, promises,” I say.
“Have I ever broken a promise?” he asks.
“No.”
The air between us shifts. All playfulness vanishes as he lowers his lips to mine. He’s sealing his naught promise with the sweetest kiss he’s ever given me. I want to cry from the tenderness of it. Instead, I melt into his arms.
“I’ll let you choose: hot sexy shower or real estate office?”
“Can I have both?” I slip my fingers under his jacket and pull up his shirt until I find smooth skin. I press my hands against his quivering belly.
“You can have whatever you want.”
He makes good on his promise, taking me to his place to shower. It’s hot, steamy, and perfect. After, he drives us to the small diner in town. Over an early dinner, he regals me with stories about ranch life. Joy fills his face. I know for sure now that a ranch life is something he’d enjoy, which is good, because I think I’d love it too.
“I made a decision about something.” I drag a French fry though the puddle of ketchup on my plate.
“About the future?” He takes a sip of soda before leaning back in the well-worn booth.
“I want to own a ranch.”
“I suspected as much. You’ve got a little cowgirl in you. I could see it the first time you rode a horse.”
“Would you ever want to own a ranch?” I ask.
My voice is timid. He must realize how vulnerable I am right now because he slips out of the booth and comes to my side. He puts his arm around my shoulders.
“Are you asking if I’d want to own a ranch with you?” he asks.
“Not exactly.”
“Hum…” He moves his arm away. I hate the loss of his comforting touch. “Well, hypothetically, I’d love to own a ranch, but I don’t have nearly enough saved up to buy one.”
“I do.”
“Really?” He turns to look at me, arm over the back of the booth.
“I saved almost every penny I ever made. I traveled so much that I didn’t have time to spend it on anything.”
“Is that why you’ve been eyeing the ranch next door?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go see it. If we get there before they close, I’m sure a real estate agent would be happy to show it to us.”
“I don’t know. It seems like a big step.”
“If you don’t take a big step now and then, life will run you over. All we’re doing is looking at it. There’s no commitment. Come on, it will be fun.”
His infectious smile is all the convincing I need.
After he pays for dinner, we walk arm in arm toward the real estate office. I figure all the loose tongues in our small town will be waggling, and Brendan will probably hear rumors, but I don’t care. Nothing can keep me from holding onto Dallas for dear life. Even though we’re “just looking,” this feels like a huge step.
As we step into the office, an agent comes out of her office to greet us. Her perfectly coiffed hair would be right at home in Texas, but it’s a bit much for Montana. She’s wearing a red suit with matching cowboy boots. I’d bet my whole bank account she didn’t grow up here. But she seems nice enough.
“I’m Mary Anne.” She hands Dallas a business card.
“I’m Emily and this is Dallas.”
“It’s so great that you’re both here. How can I help you?” she asks.
“Emily’s looking at some property out on Highway 90.”
“It’s a thousand acres,” I say.
“I know which one you mean. The Baker property,” she says. “Have you seen the list price?”
“I have,” I say. “I’d like to see the property.
“It’s unoccupied, so we can head over there now if you’re interested.”
“We are,” Dallas says.
I don’t miss the fact that he said “we”. I haven’t outright asked him if he wants to move our relationship forward in any way, but maybe I don’t have to. Maybe he’s giving me a sign clear as day.
“If you want to follow me, I’ll be in a black Ford Explorer,” she says. “Or we can all go together, whatever you prefer.”
“We’ll follow you. My brother owns the property next door.”
“Really?” She lowers her voice to a whisper, which is odd considering no one else seems to be in the office. “I have it on good authority that Old Man Baker’s willing to part ways with the property for a much lower figure. He’s grumpy as all get out and doesn’t want to leave a penny to his—and these are his words, not mine—ungrateful little shits. So, you might be able to offer a bit lower than list.”
“How much lower?” Dallas asks.
“Maybe…” She stars at the ceiling and taps a red fingernail against her lips. “Twenty percent less. But don’t quote me on that. I could write up the offer for whatever you want, if you’re serious about it.”
“Let’s see it first, then we can decide,” Dallas says. There he goes with “we” again. I’m going to have to talk with him about this later.
We follow Mary Anne out to the property. It’s beautiful. Rolling hills, year-round access to the river, and a flat spot perfect for building a home from scratch. If she’s right about being able to offer twenty-percent under list, I would have plenty of money left for building exactly what I want.
“Would you like to make an offer?” she prompts.
“I need to think about it,” I say.
“We’ll discuss it tonight and call you as soon as we’ve made a decision,” Dallas says.
After we get into his truck, I turn toward him.
“You kept saying ‘we’.”
“I assumed you brought me along to help you decide. I hope I didn’t overstep,” he says.
“No.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“Not exactly. I just… I’m not sure if I’m ready for all of this.”
“For us?”
“For any of it.” I rub tension out of my neck.
“No one’s going to rush you into anything, especially not me,” he says. “Take your time. You’re not on the track anymore, and you don’t need to rush your decisions.”
“What do you think?”
“I think you’ll know what to do when the time is right.”
I nod, hoping he’s right. In the past, I always knew exactly what to do. The accident took away my sense of control. I doubt decisions in a way I never did before I went face-first into a wall at two hundred miles per hour. I made a huge mistake then… What if I’m making another mistake now?
10
Dallas
It’s been a week since Emily and I went to the property, and she still hasn’t made a decision. I can’t help but wonder if there’s more to this than simply purchasing land. She’s acting as if her entire future is riding on this decision.
She’s scared. Even though she denies it over and over, I know her. I’ve spent enough time by her side, in bed and out of it, to know that she’s still shaken by the accident. I want to help her get past it, but I don’t know how. Maybe it’s something she’ll never get past. And if that’s true, what will it mean for our relationship?
I finish buttoning my flannel shirt and look in the foggy bathroom mirror. I didn’t get a chance to shower before leaving her cabin this morning. I’m supposed to be meeting Brendan in ten minutes to drive out to the feed store to pick up parts for one of the tractors. It’s a simple job, so I’m not quite sure why he’s asking me to go along with him, but whatever. According to Emily, my sock drawer is getting pathetically low, so I should get more.
I smile. She’s already wifing me and—wait, wife?
My f
ingers stall on the last button. Where the hell did that come from? We’ve never even defined our relationship, let alone talked about where we see it going.
But I’m not going to lie to myself. I could picture a life with her. She wants to run a ranch, and I’d love to support her in doing it. She’s been here long enough to realize it’s hard work and there are no days off. Sick or not, rain or shine, animals need to get fed and stalls need to be mucked. She works her ass off, just one more thing I admire. Her work ethic, not just her ass.
I grin and finish the last button.
After slipping into non-work boots, I meet Brendan at his truck. He’s wearing all gray, a glum expression on his face. I’m instantly on alert. Something’s not right with him.
“Get in,” he says gruffly.
Oh, crap. Now what?
“Everything okay?” I slide into the passenger side.
“We need to have a talk. Man to man. And I figured it be best we do it while I’m driving so my hands are occupied.”
Shit. He knows.
“I saw you coming out of my sister’s cabin this morning.” He pulls on the highway without glancing my way. “Want to tell me what that’s all about?”
For a split second, I debate whether I should tell him everything or hold back until I can talk to Emily. Friendship wins in the end. I can’t go on lying to him anymore. If that pisses Emily off, I’ll have to find way to make it up to her later.
“I’ve been spending time with your sister,” I say.
“What kind of time?”
“Honestly? I’m not really sure.”
“Friends or something more?”
“Something more. I think.”
“You don’t know?”
“She won’t define it.”
He’s silent for a long time. I open my mouth several times but close it. There’s no point in poking a rattler, and he’s as coiled up as I’ve ever seen him.
“How long has this been going on?” he asks.
“A while.”
“Were you planning on lying about it forever?”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You didn’t tell me. Lie by omission’s still a lie.” His jaw clenches.
“I’m sorry.” I am.
“I should pull over and kick your ass from here to Sunday.”
“Look, I shouldn’t have gone behind your back, but it’s also really not your business.”
The truck screeches to a halt on the side of the road. He flips it into “park” and turns to face me. His cheeks are blotted bright red.
“The hell it’s not. She’s my sister.” He pokes me in the chest. My fists curl, but I hold back. “She’s not ready to have her life turned upside down again.”
“What makes you think I’m going to do that?” I ask. I’m pissed off. “I’m good enough to be your friend but not good enough for your sister? Is that it?”
He lifts his Stetson off his head and settles it back on. He stares through the front window at the long, empty road ahead.
“I worry about her,” he says.
“I wouldn’t dream of hurting her.”
“It might not be intentional, but she can’t take more heartbreak right now. I know you. Women are entertainment. You play around with one until you’re bored, then you move on to the next pretty face.”
“You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not like that at all. I’ve never promised anyone I’d stick around. They knew what they were getting into when they hooked up with me. I told them plain as day.”
“And you laid this all out for Emily too?”
“Ha!” I snort. “She’s the one who wanted a no-strings relationship. She still seems to want it that way. Although…”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You want more.” He glances my way. Some of the anger is gone.
“Yeah.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s like you said—she’s scared of her own shadow. She doesn’t want to commit to anyone or anything right now. Did you know she’s got her eye on that property next door to the ranch?”
“I’ve seen her looking at it. Word in town was you and her went out to look at it. I didn’t know a damn thing about it. How do you think that made me look?”
“Since when do you care about what people in town think?” I ask.
“I care about my sister’s reputation.”
“Am I so terrible that people will think she’s ruined somehow by being in my presence?” I shake my head. This whole situation is ridiculous.
“It’s not that,” he grumbles.
“Then what is it? Because I’m sick of waiting around for her to make up her mind. I want to know if she wants to spend the rest of her life with me or not.” I’m talking so fast my mouth outruns my brain, but it’s all true. Every single word of it.
“You love her?” For the first time since he started in on me, there’s compassion in his eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Have you told her?”
“No.”
“Then you’re a fool.”
We’re both silent for several minutes. Finally, he puts the truck back in gear. He makes a wide U-turn.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“Back to the ranch.”
“Why?”
“So you two can get your heads out of your asses. I’m still madder than a bull staring down a red flag, but I’m not stupid. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. She’s head-over-heels in love with you.”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Trust me. She is. I’ve never seen anyone so excited to muck stalls in my life. That’s what tipped me off. Every time I asked her to go help you in the barn, she’d start glowing like a firefly. She’s scared. I get that. But it’s about time you man up and talk to her.”
“You’re okay with all this?”
“If you make her happy, then I’ll forgive you for being a belly-crawlin’ liar. I can see why you hid it. No point in it getting out if it’s not going anywhere.”
“I thought you were going to kick my ass,” I confess.
“And I might still do it if I catch her cryin’.”
“You won’t.”
“Good.” He parks near the cabins. “Go talk to her. I can have the guys at the feed store help me load. When I get back, I expect a full report.”
“All right.” I hop out of the truck.
“One more thing,” he calls. “I hope it goes well. I couldn’t think of a better man to call my brother-in-law.”
“Now you’re just talkin’ crazy.” I wave a hand to dismiss his implication. “She’s not even ready to admit to being in a relationship. Marriage is about ten thousand years away at this rate.”
“Sometimes it’s closer than you think.”
I nod and shut the door. He takes off.
Sunlight radiates through broken clouds. Painters call it “God rays.” I hope the Almighty’s on my side because I feel like I’m walking into my doom. Brendan’s right though. I can’t keep going on like this. I love her and she needs to know it.
I’m standing in front of her door before I realize it. I’ve sunk so deep into my thoughts that I don’t even register that I’m knocking. It’s as if I’m on autopilot.
I shake my head to snap back to the present. When she opens the door, my breath catches. Golden hair hangs around her shoulders. Bright blue eyes crinkle at the edges as she smiles. She’s only half dressed in jeans and a pink bra on. I can’t take my eyes off her.
“I…”
“Am speechless?” she finishes. Her soft laughter fills the cabin as she ushers me inside. “Come in before my brother sees us.”
“About that…”
“Yeah?” She grabs a hair brush off an end table and drags it through her hair.
“He knows.”
The brush stops mid-stroke.
“You told him?”
“He saw me leave this morning.”
“Crap.” She sets the brush down and comes to slide her hands around my waist. “What did you tell him?”
“The truth.”
“The truth?” When she gazes up at me, her eyes are heavy with questions. I kiss her softly.
“I can’t hide this anymore,” I say.
“We don’t even know what this is.”
“I know. I know what this is.” I cup her cheeks and look right into her eyes. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for weeks, but I was too afraid to say anything because you refused to talk about it.”
“Dallas…” She steps out of my arms and walks into her bedroom.
I follow, only to find her pulling on a purple long-sleeved shirt. She refuses to meet my eyes. A stab of fear spears my heart. Did I push her too far too fast? Maybe I shouldn’t have told her that I love her.
“We said from the beginning that this wouldn’t be more than sex,” she says.
“I know, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you. All those late nights talking about the future and what our dreams might look like brought us closer. You know it did.” I take her hand in mine. “I know you’re scared, but I swear I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that our relationship won’t crash and burn. It’s not a race. We’re not trying to prove anything to anyone, including ourselves. But I can’t go another day without telling you that I love you. Because I do.”
Her eyes glisten as she turns her back on me. My stomach plummets to my feet. It was too soon. I shouldn’t have said anything.
“Em?”
“I’m not ready. I told you from the beginning that I’m not planning any kind of future anymore.”
“But the property next door… Isn’t that a plan?” I ask, desperate to hold onto her because I know I’m losing her.
“I decided not to make an offer.”
“Why?” I go to her, gently grasp her shoulders and turn her toward me. Tears are trickling down her cheeks. “If none of this means anything, why are you crying?”
“Because I’m scared, Dallas. You don’t know what it’s like to have everything. To have exactly what you’ve always wanted. Then to have it ripped out of your hands. It will break you in two.”
I’m already broken in two. This is turning into a disaster, and I don’t know how to stop it.