Big Cowboy Page 8

  “I love you,” I repeat. “I know you’re scared. But if there’s even an ounce of love in your heart, we have a chance.”

  She wipes her face. A mask falls over her features, and just like that, she shuts me out.

  “I’m sorry, Dallas. But I don’t love you.”

  I’m devastated. My throat swells. This can’t be happening.

  As she brushes past me, I can’t move to follow. My feet are rooted to the floor even as she walks out the front door and closes it behind her.

  She doesn’t love me. How could I have been so wrong about us? Am I wrong, or is she really just terrified? I don’t know. I can’t seem to get through to her, but I don’t know what else to do. Maybe she just needs some space. Or time. Time to realize that what we have is different, and precious, and worth fighting for. I’m not done with this relationship, not by a long shot. But for now, I’ll give her time to think things over. It’s risky, but what choice do I have?

  11

  Emily

  Love. He loves me. I don’t know if I should run or scream or keep crying. It’s all I do anymore. It’s been weeks since he professed his love. He’s tried to talk to me, but I can’t do it. I keep shutting him down.

  The property for sale sign still sits on the hill. I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking nonstop about the future. I remember how fearless I was when I first joined the circuit. Now, I’m just a shadow of my former self. Fear is all around me, breathing down my neck like a winter storm.

  Spring is coming. I’m sitting on a tractor working on feeding cows. Tiny buds of green dot the edges of deciduous trees. Cows pregnant with little calves grow larger. All around me, the world moves forward while I sit stagnating in the past.

  I want to let it go—I do—but how? It is as simple as racing through my fear?

  Another tractor rumbles through the mud. Snow’s melting, leaving puddles of mud across the ranch. I can’t say I’m sorry to see the snow go though. I’m done with winter. I’m ready to move on to spring.

  “Hey, sis. I thought you’d be done by now. Everything okay?” Brendan pulls up next to me.

  “Yeah, just dreaming of spring.”

  “All the signs are here that it’s coming. Just about another month or so and winter will be a distant memory.”

  “Yeah.”

  “You sound down.”

  “Just thinking.”

  “About the property?”

  “That… and other things.”

  “Dallas?”

  “He told me you know about us.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” his tone is hurt, and I immediately feel bad. I should have confided in him a long time ago.

  “It doesn’t matter now, it’s over.”

  “That explains the perpetual frown on Dallas’ face. Walk with me.”

  I get out of the tractor and join him on the ground. My mud boots slurp through inch-deep muck.

  “Why’s it over?” he asks. “I though you two had something good going on.”

  “He wants more than I can give him.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know… a future.”

  “Don’t you want one too?”

  “Yeah,” I say softly. It’s hard to admit it, but these days, all I think about is the future.

  “I know the crash messed you up bad, but there’s life after racing. Look at how much fun you’ve been having working on the ranch. You’ve got a heck of a lot of natural cowgirl in you.”

  I smile.

  “Look.” He stops and turns to me. “I love Dallas like a brother. He’s the best man I know. He’s not perfect, but neither is anyone else. He loves you. A man doesn’t mope the way he’s been moping unless it’s something real. He wants a future with you.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why are you being so damn stubborn?” His eyes widen when he’s exasperated. They’re like saucers right now.

  “I’m… scared.” The last word comes out so softly that I’m not sure he heard me.

  “Fear’s a part of life. You think I wasn’t scared shitless moving from the city to this ranch? I didn’t know what the future held, but I knew I had to try and make one. I couldn’t sit around trying to force myself to be happy in a situation I hated. And let me tell you, dating anyone is scary as hell.”

  “How are things going with Tina?” I ask.

  “So good that I wake up panicked some nights. I don’t want to do anything that would ruin what we have. It’s still budding, but it’s the best I’ve ever felt with a woman.”

  “Could you see marrying her?”

  “Down the line—hell yeah.” He grins. “But don’t try to change the subject. I know you’re scared, but it’s time to stop being a chicken shit. Get back in the race car of life and run the damn race. Dad always said it would be over before you know it. Don’t end up old and filled with regrets. Dad never had the chance to grow old, but you do. Go talk to Dallas. Get back on track with him. I love you, sis. But I swear I’m going to kick your butt if you don’t get moving.”

  “All right, all right.” I hold up my hands in surrender. He gives me a hug.

  “I’ll expect a full report later.”

  “Okay, dad.”

  We both laugh. He’s right. I’ve been living in fear for so long that I’m ruining a chance at happiness. I can’t go on like this. I need to talk to Dallas.

  * * *

  Standing in front of his cabin door, my bravado fades. After all the shit I gave him, does he still love me? Maybe this is a bad idea. Or maybe I’m being a chicken shit.

  I knock before I can turn tail and run.

  “Hey.” Dallas opens the door. All 6’3” of him fills the frame. God, I’ve missed him.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Sure.”

  He steps back. As I walk past him, I catch a whiff of his scent. It’s pure male with a hint of that lemon soap he loves.

  “Want a drink?” he asks.

  “Coffee, if you have any.”

  “Always.” He flashes a gorgeous smile.

  My heart melts. I’ve been such a fool. I’ve turned my back on the perfect man. Fear still tries to lock my confession behind my lips, but I push through it.

  “I’ve been thinking. A lot. About… us.” Maybe it’s not a smooth start, but it’s the best I can do.

  He stays silent while he puts cream and sugar in my coffee. He knows exactly how I like it. He remembers.

  “The accident took away the future I thought I wanted. I mean, I did want it. More than anything in the world. But… I lost it. I thought I’d lost the future too. But, I didn’t. I realize that now.”

  He sets the coffee on the kitchen table. I take my usual seat to the right of the head of the table. He settles in next to me so that we’re not quite facing each other. I turn my head to look at him.

  “I’m ready for a future,” I whisper.

  “Are you?” he asks.

  I read mistrust in his eyes. I don’t blame him. After shutting him out, why would he jump to believe anything I’m telling him? I have to find a way to make him believe in me again—in us.

  “I was scared.” I cover his hand with mine. He’s warm and strong, exactly the kind of man I’ve always wanted. “But I’m not anymore.”

  “What changed your mind?” he asks.

  “I don’t know. Time? I needed time away to realize that I missed you. A lot.” I rub my thumb across his knuckles. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too.” He laces his fingers into mine. “How do I know you won’t run off the next time you get scared?”

  “I won’t. I’m with you for good… If you still want me.”

  “Of course, I still want you.” He’s out of his seat, arms around my waist, dragging me back into his lap. I let out a yelp. “You silly woman. I love you. I told you that weeks ago, but you made me wait.”

  I turn to straddle him. His arms settle around my waist. Our lips are close enough that we share
the same breaths.

  “I love you too, Dallas. I think I fell in love with you the moment I saw you.”

  He grins.

  “I’m not just a hunk of man-meat, you know.” He raises a brow, and I burst out laughing.

  “Man-meat?”

  “Yeah. Man-meat. You give me these looks like you’re ready to eat me, so… man-meat.”

  “You’re ridiculous.”

  “Ridiculously in love with you.” My voice is softer. I’m serious, and I need him to know it.

  “I have something for you.”

  “Really?”

  “Something I’ve been wanting to give you for a very long time.” He lifts me out of his lap and carries me to the couch. He sets me down. “Wait here.”

  As I wait, a lightness enters my heart. For the first time since the accident, I’m ready to move forward. I’m ready to make plans for the future.

  He returns with one hand behind his back. I sit up straighter. What’s going on?

  As he gets down on one knee, my jaw drops.

  “Dallas… what are you—”

  “Woman, I swear you need to stop talking so I can get this right.”

  I nod. My hand covers my throat.

  “When I met you, you were forbidden fruit. Off limits and out of control. I knew better than to mess with you, but I couldn’t stay away. I never thought much about the future. In a way, I was like you. But, now I want one. With you.”

  He pulls his hand from behind his back. He’s holding a little red satin box. A ring box.

  A puff of sound escapes my lips.

  “I love you Emily Taylor Dole. I don’t know what the future might bring. I’m sure we’ll run into trouble at some point, but I’ve been through some stuff, and I can get through anything. We can get through anything as long as we’re together.”

  I nod my head in agreement. My throat is closed, but my heart is wide open.

  “So Emily, will you walk with me into the unknown future? Will you stay by my side even when things get scary? Will you talk to me and not turn away at the first sign of trouble?”

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  “Honey, will you marry me?”

  I fling myself into his arms. He drops the box and the ring bounces onto the hardwood floor.

  “Shit.”

  “Is that a yes?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  “Then stop strangling me so I can get the ring.”

  I release him. He retrieves the ring and slides it onto my finger. It’s a simple gold band with a gorgeous princess cut diamond. It sparkles in the sunlight.

  “It’s beautiful,” I murmur.

  “Not as beautiful as you.”

  He kisses me, sealing our fates together for all eternity. I love this man, and I want a future with him.

  “We need to leave,” I say when we finally part to take a breath.

  “Why? The bedroom’s right there.” He grins wickedly.

  “But our land’s over there.” I point toward the property for sale.

  “Then let’s go get it.”

  He lifts me to my feet and we walk outside, hand in hand. We spot Brendan near the barn.

  “Should we tell him?” Dallas asks.

  “Yeah.”

  As we head toward him, my brother looks up. He squints against blinding sunlight, then a slow smile spreads across his face.

  “Looks like you finally got your shit together, sis,” he teases before turning to Dallas. “Congratulations… brother.”

  They give each other a bro-hug.

  “Have you thought about the land?” Brendan asks.

  “I’m buying it,” I say.

  “Damn, I’ll miss having you guys around.”

  “Not if we merge operations,” Dallas says.

  “That’s not a bad idea.” Brendan strokes his chin. “Not bad at all. I like it. Well, you’d better get a move on. It’s been on the market a while, but I heard some out-of-towners were looking at it the other day. Go get it while you can.”

  “We will.”

  As we get into Dallas’ truck, I can’t stop smiling. I can’t stop staring at this ring either. It’s stunning.

  “Your hand looks like it’s about to float away,” Dallas says with a chuckle.

  “How long have you been hiding it?”

  “I bought it the day after you broke up with me.”

  “You had a lot of faith.”

  “No. I knew you’d come around eventually, but you owe me for making me wait so damn long.”

  “Oh, really? What do I owe you?”

  He leans over and whispers all the dirty things he’s going to do to me once we get home. I want to turn the truck around and go back right now. Screw the property, it can wait.

  “What are you doing?” he asks as I reach for his zipper.

  “Pull over.”

  “In the middle of the highway?”

  “Take that turn off.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “And you love me for it.”

  “Damn right.”

  As he pulls into the turnoff, I know everything’s going to work out just fine. The property can wait. Right now, I need my man deep inside me.

  He pulls to a stop behind a windbreak made of trees. After shutting off the engine, he maneuvers into the passenger seat. I hit my head trying to get on top.

  “Okay, this was sexier in my head,” I admit.

  “Give me a second.” He unzips, and we manage to wriggle out of our pants.

  Then my legs are around him and he’s filling me completely. I rock against him. It’s slow and sensual. Passionate. And perfect.

  12

  Emily

  Six Months Later…

  I’m fiddling with the lace on the front of my wedding gown. I peek out at our assembled family and friends. Today’s the day we officially start our future together. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not a tiny bit scared. But the moment I spot Dallas, my fears subside. With him by my side, we can get through anything.

  “You ready to go, sis?”

  I turn to find my brother dressed in a charcoal gray suit. He looks dashing.

  “Tina will fall all over you when she sees you,” I say.

  “I’ve got a little something special planned for her tomorrow night.”

  “Oh?”

  “I’m going to propose.”

  “Congratulations!” I give him a hug.

  “She hasn’t said ‘yes’ yet.”

  “She will.”

  “I hope so. Are you ready to do this thing?” he asks.

  “I’m ready.” My heart’s racing as I slip my arm into his.

  “You know dad and mom are looking down on us right now, and they’re proud as hell of the woman you’ve become,” he says.

  “I know. I can feel their presence.” And it’s pure love straight from heaven.

  “Let’s get you married.”

  I can’t stop smiling as we walk down an aisle of red rose petals. Dallas stands at the end with a huge smile on his face. My brother and him shake before Brendan gives me over to Dallas. I love the ceremony of it all. Having my brother’s blessing means the world to us. We’re all one big happy family now.

  As we speak our vows, everything else fades away. The past is behind me, and I look forward to a future filled with happiness, love, and probably a little chaos. But I can handle it because I’ll be with the love of my life for the rest of my life.

  The pastor finishes asking if I promise to love Dallas forever.

  “I do,” I reply.

  He does the same for Dallas.

  “I do,” he says.

  “Then you may kiss the bride.”

  Dallas lifts my veil. His eyes are brimming with unshed tears of happiness. When our lips meet, we seal out pact with a soul-searing kiss. I can’t wait to get this damn wedding dress off so I can be with him. Skin to skin. Cheek to cheek. Well… and other parts.

  I giggle.

  “What?” Dal
las whispers as the preacher introduces us as man and wife.

  “If I tell you, lighting will strike us both.”

  “Mm… then I can guess what you were thinking, but I’m thinking it too.”

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  I laugh as he scoops me into his arms and carries me toward a white ribbon-covered tractor.

  “Your chariot awaits,” he says.

  I laugh as he puts me in the passenger seat. He drives through my brother’s property toward our new house. We installed a gate so that we could easily move cattle through the various pastures. Everything has been going well since the merger. Brendan hired two new hands to help around the ranch and they’ve been working their butts off. It’s all working out.

  I used to be afraid of the future, but that’s all gone now. As Dallas carries me over the threshold into our new home, I inhale his scent, and a fair amount of paint fumes.

  “Trying to get high on me?” he jokes.

  “Nope. I’m already high on life.”

  “You can be so corny.”

  “And porny. Get this dress off me.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  As he strips me bare, I realize that none of this transformation would have happened without Dallas. He opened my eyes to the possibility of love, and I’ll be forever grateful for it.

  Right now, I don’t want to think about any of that. I just want to be with him. And I will be. From now on, for the rest of my life, I’ll be with the cowboy of my dreams.

  * * *

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  About the Author

  Ava Kyle is two USA Bestselling Authors who got together to write short, steamy romance. They love sassy heroines, panty-melting heroes, and the promise of everlasting love. If you’re looking for a short, passionate read, then we’re happy to deliver it. Just don’t call us if your e-reader melts. We’re only responsible for one kind of hardware, and that’s not it.